Awe November, the month of thankfulness! As my mind reflects on the multitude of things I'm grateful for, my friend Ruby ranks high on my list. I met her several years ago on a mission trip to the Pine Ridge Reservation, in South Dakota, just above the Nebraska state line. Pine Ridge is roughly the size of Connecticut. It's home to an estimated 40,000 Lakota Sioux. It's the poorest county and reservation in the entire country. There's no banks or box stores there. Drugs and alcohol and all the undesirable things that can accompany them are ever present there.
When I first met Ruby it was at her home, it was the smallest trailer house I've ever seen. A rust red welcome sign caught my eye first, followed by a car port, and an elderly Indian woman. Little did I know at that moment how much that elderly Lakota woman would change and impact me and my family. As Ruby welcomed our group like long lost grandchildren, I began to realize that the weathered car port was the 'stage project' our group had been assigned to. It didn't take long for us to understand how important the makeshift stage was. Ruby hosted Christian music concerts and speakers using this stage and also used it to distribute clothing donations. Suddenly our task of replacing the worn out tarps with tin panels took on a whole new meaning and importance to all of us on this mission trip. We'd soon learn that the chicken coop and very large garden Ruby tended were shared with everyone. Ruby rarely kept any of the eggs or produce for herself. We also quickly noticed a pattern, several carloads of people would knock on the door of her petite palace and when they came back out, their hands were loaded with boxes and bags.
During our water breaks, Ruby would sit with us and tell us about life on the reservation. We realized this humble sweet woman was distributing clothing, food, household items, as well as eggs and produce and pretty much whatever you can think of from her little red and white trailer to the carloads of people randomly showing up.
On our last work day we begged her to come lunch with us. She was very reluctant to join us. As we were enjoying all the greasy gas station goodness, Ruby quietly munched on a pale garden salad, the cheapest thing on the menu. As we sat there visiting, she confessed, this was the first time she had eaten out in over two years! Every penny she had went to helping her family. We came to learn the homeless was who she was referring to when she spoke of her family.
This trip opened the door to many more trips with my family to see and help our beloved friend. Throughout the years, Ruby fought health problems but never seemed to miss a beat. She formed her own version of meals on wheels and would feed her 'family' the meals she cooked in her tiny kitchen. She'd load up the food she'd prepared and head to the parking area where most of the homeless hang out in. She did this at least once a week, feeding as many as 60 people, all on her commodities and donations she received. Feeding her 'family' didn't stop here. She organized Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter dinners. My family and I had the pleasure of helping at a few of these meals. They were beautiful! These people who had practically nothing would scrape up whatever they could to help contribute to these meals. Often her 'family' would set up, serve, and clean up after these large feasts that often fed hundreds of people. It was an incredible thing to be a part of. On several occasions, Ruby would come grab me from whatever task I was doing to introduce me to her friends in a manner that made me feel like I was a daughter or grandchild of hers. I can't even begin to convey how loved she made me feel.
On one quick trip, we delivered a box of socks collected by a sweet young man in Center. When Ruby opened the box and saw all the brand new socks, she started to cry. She was so overwhelmed and couldn't wait to give her 'family' the socks. This encounter was mind blowing. I had never worried about socks before. My only sock troubles were having matching socks. Talk about a dose of perspective!
Ruby loved fiercely, like no one else I've ever met! She believed you couldn't have true love without consequence and was not afraid to call out bad behavior or disagree with people. She took the Tribal Council to task numerous times on various issues. She pushed extremely hard to get a homeless shelter opened. Thanks to her efforts, there is a day center for the homeless and several large heated tents for the homeless to sleep in.
When her health issues came to ahead and she was put on hospice, she was went to the nursing home that she played a part in getting built. A week before her passing, she was on the phone working to secure funds for propane to heat the church she had worked hard to reopen a couple years ago.
At her funeral this last Saturday, friends from 8 states came in to say their goodbyes to this beautiful and fierce soul. A dear friend spoke a few brief but powerful words he had heard years ago, live in a manner in which the preacher doesn't have to lie at your funeral. Ruby definitely lived that way. I am grateful for her friendship, her love, and lessons she taught my family and I. I want to strive to love as hard as she did. She spreads love like glitter and for that, I am forever thankful!